Overwhelmed and Under Crafted

With everything that has been going on lately I have been completely overwhelmed.  We are only doing Dance for Kyrie now and not having so much chaos on Wednesday night which helps a ton.  We are looking at putting Zee back into dance next year where Kyrie is going to make it tons easier, plus we get to pick the day she goes.  We have been dealing with all the caregiver stuff, dealing with the Army (which is never an easy process) and of course the Holidays.  And then Relay has started up which even though it adds one more thing to the list makes my heart feel awesome and light for all the good I know I am doing.  I am looking at making lots of changes next year and am trying to get stuff finished up with the house.  We just have the closets to tackle in the girls rooms and they are done, then we are moving on to the bathroom I think.  Never a dull moment here, that's for sure.  We have had to fix the toilet already and to replace all the pipe stuff for the tub/shower.  Seth really is a Mr. Fix It!  And God Bless D.I. Y. Network and YouTube for helping us through all of this.  I have to rearrange Zee's room to make room for Christmas stuff that I know is coming.  I also got a website on Shutterfly up and going for stuff that is going on with the girls photo wise that way I am not overwhelming this blog with tons of photos.   I am going to try and get us a good schedule going for next year to help out Seth more and to have more time for Crafting so I am not rushing at the last minute to try and get things done (like now).  I also want to do more of what I can to help Kyrie get patches on her own.  We want her to walk away from Scouts having tried and accomplished tons of different things and we know that means us helping as much as we can.  I have thought long and hard about this with all the changes that have happened in the past few months with this and decided I am TEAM KYRIE!!!!!!  Kyrie is the one doing Scouts, we signed her up because SHE wanted to so I am going to do whatever needs to be done to make sure she is having fun and getting patches.  I do not want to be involved in any of the politics of the thing, it caused more undue stress on me then was ever needed.  For those things Seth can handle all of that I have enough on my plate.  I also love that Seth and I are doing a weekly Bible study, it has tremendously helped me with all of the Stress I have been under.  It's funny how little things make such big impacts! 

Now onto the biggy, I have picked my Word of the Year for 2012...........  BRAVE!!!!!!!  

This photo was posted by one of the PTSD/TBI pages I follow for Family Members of people with both or either.  After seeing this I knew Brave had to be my word.  With everything we have been through the past (3 years next month) with all of this I know this is the one I need the most.  It's so hard to remember I am the person holding us all together, I am the ones the girls look to for Strength when Seth falls or they start to notice he is in pain.  It is so hard for a 3 year old to understand and I know just having Strength is not enough they need to see me being Brave not just being strong.  We are going to encounter a lot more hurtles this next year with all of this and I am done sitting out on the sides being afraid of what is going to happen and too afraid to speak up and ask for help.  I know our life is not what we planned for or what we expected but I will not let what happened in our past control what happens in our future.  We have to learn to let go the negativity that people try and push on us because of the sacrifices Seth made, we need to focus more on US!  We have done and given up more in the past 3 years then most people know about and if you can not be grateful for us then we do not need to be burdened with your negativity.

Love of a Lifetime

My Granny and Grandpa had a Love Story Life people wish for.  She loved him even after he was gone and would have told you to the end she was still married to the same guy.  Growing up I knew I wanted that, that kind of love.  I'm sure they had there problems everyone does but there love held them together even through nine children (seriously would a driven a lesser person crazy, and it might of her who knows).  But it was that Love that I remember the strongest.  My Grandpa passed when I was little and I still remember the way her face light up when she talked about him.  I am so happy that I have that love with Seth.  We were two crazy kids that found something few people ever do and knew from the start it was something you could only wish for.  There is no believing I know Seth is my soul mate, no one could ever explain otherwise. Then almost two years after getting married we got pregnant with Kyrie and I didn't know it was possible to have so much love in you.  She was the skinniest long little thing and she was this wonderful thing our love made.  Our love fought odds and overcame things that still amazes.  We got pregnant for the second time with Zee after being told we couldn't for three more years.  Then one faithful phone call blew down the walls of our house and showed us what being strong and supporting each other truly was.  You never fully understand how strong you are till being strong is the only thing you do know.  We have fought to rebuild, cope and survive with what we were dealt and strive on.  We know that no matter what else we have what makes it important we have a love to span time, distance and generations.  I wake up ever day thankful God let me keep him, and for bringing him into my life in the first place.  No one can take from us what we have done and what we have made for ourselves and our family.  Remember always LOVE, HONOR and ANNOY FOREVER!!!!!!! 

I've been working on getting the office done and organized.  It is cleaned and I have pulled out 4 bags of trash from clearing everything out.  Poor room was just having all kinds of crap piled in there because I was working on part of the basement.  Which has become a lost cause by the way it is way too much work of one person and when I get no help I can't do it.  But back to the office, I moved out the stuff that didn't belong in there, rearranged to maximize the room and started working on organizing my scrapbook stuff and my Scentsy stuff.  Scentsy is done, and all I have left from my scrapbook stuff is my albums.  I have been working on getting pages into albums, adding page protectors and trying to figure out what all needed to be added to catch up with my books.  I also need some more albums I thought I had enough but nope.  I will try and get what I have into books though.  I also need to start working on Christmas albums, and making out cards for next month, plus making our Christmas card list and deciding who will get a regular card and who will get a photo card.
Girl Scout stuff has started up we have our first meeting tomorrow, and Zee has her first dance class tomorrow too.  I have a PTC meeting at Kyrie's school tonight I am determined to be more involved.  So I am doing what needs to be done to get there.  I so miss my Mae Steven's family it was so much more volunteer friendly there.   Kyrie will start dance next week, craziness here we come.

Kyrie's room

After lots of sponging on paint, painting K's, and getting a new bookshelf Kyrie's room is done.

Connie Podesta Shapes Personality Test

So Scentsy hired comedian Connie Podesta for convention and it was part of what we got to watch on the live feed.  She does a shapes personality test and I'm a squiggle.  First off it was the shape that when I was looking at them felt most like me so I read about squiggles first.  And the squiggles is so me. 

My favorite group (don’t tell the other shapes I said that!). We squiggles are truly the idea people — always thinking — always coming up with new ideas. The problem is, WE DRIVE EVERYONE ELSE CRAZY! (But do we care? No!) Our minds just work differently, that’s all. We have spent a lifetime dancing to the beat of our own crazy drummer and wouldn’t have it otherwise. Most of us are creative (that’s our word for "crazy"), and we delight in tackling the world head on. We love trying new things, mainly because we get bored so easily, however, we don’t always follow through and finish all those projects.
By the way, congratulations on finding my website because you probably forgot my name and lost the handout with my address on it and had to call a circle or triangle to get the information, so I’m delighted that you finally discovered me!
Squiggles are:

• Creative
• High energy
• Flexible/spontaneous will
• Easily distracted
• Often act or speak without thinking

Yep squiggles are so me!  If you want to know what shape you are check out her personality shape test here

Almost a Room

The border is ordered, and boy was it hard to track down and find somewhere that had it where it wasn't $40 a roll.  It should be here next week so we can put the finishing touches on Kyrie's room.  I have one last letter to paint, and am ordering a canvas of Kyrie and her BFF along with the other photos she has for the wall.  We will be able to hang up the other art we got for her.  Now to drag the vinyl out and get Bugzy rolling and create some cute things for her wall.  I am going to do a Peace Love Pirate one, and a few other rock star things.

Our So Called "Easy Life" Well Think Again

I've been thinking a lot and we all know how that goes.  Seth and I have been married for 8 years and we went on our first trip together alone and unfortunately it was to drive to a funeral.  It wasn't a vacation, contrary to what some people may believe.  I understand it was our Military lifestyle and the girls that kept us from doing those things and I wouldn't change either one for anything.  We have not been on a Vacation since before McKenzie was born but it's kind of hard to pull off when Seth is in and out of the hospital and Kyrie has school.  We had plans for a big vacation this month but they had to be changed and our trip got put off till next summer.  But people still think we have it easy and our life is a piece of cake.  It's funny we have fought every day for everything we have, and I fought like HELL and so did Seth for him to still be here today, but because he is hurt and doesn't have to work we have it so easy.  I want someone to explain to me how having TBI, PTSD, and the other things that fill his huge list of things that he has wrong with him as easy.  Through this whole ordeal I have had people tell me the stupidest things like "At least he is coming home from Iraq early, I wish I was that lucky" seriously you wish your husband got blown up so he could cut out from Iraq a few months early.  Or "At least you don't have to work anymore"  am I the only person who sees how much that hurts him to have to admit that he can no longer do the job he LOVED!  Seriously I should get pamphlets to hand out to people of "The Stupidest Crap to Say to Him".  I am thankful to still have him as part of our lives, and I thank God every day he didn't take him from us.  And some people just need to grasp the concept that you don't compare your cake life to people who have it harder then you.  I have two friends that I would never complain to how hard it is they both lost everything when they lost there husbands and I know that no matter what we go through we don't have it that hard.  I even have days were I struggle with all the things Seth is not capable of doing anymore, it's hard to see that as a completely healthy person that there our people out there who just because you can't see what is wrong with them it is still there.  I've learned to pick up the signs of when the pain is too much, when he has had enough of being around people, and little things like that.  So our "easy" life as some want to see it has come with a huge price tag and if you covet it for a second just stop and think of all he had to give up to be where he is, and I'm sure he would gladly trade with you in a second so he could have his life back the way he wants it. 

I know it's hard to get that at 30, Seth retired.  It's still hard for us to get but I found this quote that makes it a little easier to see how it's possible. 

Retirement is when the living is easy and the payment to get here is hard.

In his twelve years in the Army, Seth worked harder and put in more work then most people working normal jobs.  He got less then minimum wage for the hours he put in, and we were lucky if we even got to see him some days.  But that is the life of the Military and the Military Spouse.  They are people who are tougher then others and made out of a stronger mold.  He paid for his early retirement with a huge toll to his mental well being, his body and almost his life.  So before you stop to say how easy we have it, take a moment to Remember how much we sacrificed to be here and is all that sacrifice worth the easy life (as you say we have).  This easy life as you think means you can never run next to your children when they learn to ride bikes,  that five pounds is your limit for lifting things and that does mean your children as well,  a life of worrying every time he walks out the door that he will remember all he has to do and get home safe.   Our so called "Easy Life" has a heavy price tag and I don't think you would give up everything he has to have it. 

Emotionally Spent

The past weeks have been emotionally draining on my body, soul and mind.  Seth and I left before 4 am on the Monday after Father's Day for my Granny's funeral.  We drove crazy days to get there so felt it was better to leave the girls behind.  I don't think I have had to do anything harder as a Mom then to leave the two of them behind.  I have never been away from them longer then a few hours 12 at most and we were gone for over two weeks.  So added to my heartache for my Granny I had my heartache for leaving them behind.  I knew they were safe but I still worried like crazy and felt guilty for every second I missed.  It's so hard as a parent to have to be away from your kids and I have even more respect for Seth for having done it all those times he had no choice.  It ate at my heart to be away from them and I hope I never have to again!  After that it seemed like one thing after another went wrong for the past few weeks.  We came home to have to fix the toilet completely because it was flushing all the time and the water was constantly going, the sink strainer on the side we didn't replace needs replacing.  The list goes on and on.  They say God only gives you as much as you can handle, I've come to think either he has me confused with someone else like the freaking HULK or he has great faith in my wine.
We have started a list of all the things that need to be done upstairs I don't even want to broach the list for downstairs yet.  I can sum it all up in one word SCARY!!!  We did get all the boxes upstairs off to goodwill and the two that needed to get to storage there.  Now we have to work on painting Kyrie's room (it's on the agenda for tomorrow), building her bookshelf and getting all the stuff that needs to go to the dump out of here.  Then maybe the list wont looks so bad for both upstairs and downstairs.

On the Road

First Kyrie walked 17 laps at Relay on Friday and I helped at the Panteen both for about three hours.  Then Saturday we did a bowling birthday party.  The girls had a blast.  Then we spent Sunday packing and preparing to head to Oklahoma for my Granny's funeral.  Then we will head to Texas for a week before heading back to Maine.  It is my first time away from the girls and I am already freaked.  Hopefully they are good while we are gone.

It's Relay Week

Yep it's that time of year again.  I love relay and I'm going to do this even if my ankle is still throbbing.  I fell while doing the Girl Scout garage sale and twisted my ankle and the freaking thing isn't better yet.  Why doesn't it understand I have things to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I have a car to make up for a lap for relay, I am so super excited.  I will post pictures when it is done.  Kyrie's last day of school is Friday then she is out for SUMMER!!!  And she will be a first grader, where does the time go, we also find out who her first grade teacher is.  Fingers crossed for a good one!!!!!  I did a garage sale it didn't go as well as planned but it does mean that it will be fewer boxes in the house we just have to take them to goodwill and after this weekend I can start on more of the basement.  I am determined to have it all done before school starts this fall.  Kyrie loves softball and is hitting with NO TEE!  She really is such a big girl and Zee is talking a ton more and is so excited for school for her to start.  She is coming out of her shell a ton more. 

And now to some Scentsy.  Upstairs I am warming Red Candy Apple.  Bursting with tart Macintosh apples, red raspberry jam, sweet red berries and strawberry milk, with notes of brown sugar, taffy and cotton candy.  It reminds me of candy apples oh it smells so yummy.
Downstairs I am warming Peach `a la Mode and first let me say it will make you want to lick the air it smells so good.  And it's such a strong smell I can smell it at the top of the stairs.  Fresh from the orchard, ripe and juicy fruit-stand peaches simmered in sugar and topped with a fluffy dollop of sweet vanilla cream. Yum!

Another week gone

So I slacked last week and didn't blog the whole day off thing through my whole week for a loop.  We did our last Girl Scouts meeting Ice Cream Social.  Both girls had a blast.  It's so wonderful how they let Zee come and be a part of things like that.  Then Saturday we had our Girl Scouts Bake Sale, Yard Sale, Food Sale and Bottle Drive.  It was a long day 7 am till 3 pm but Kyrie and I both made it through the day and had a blast and Kyrie got a solid wood bunk bed out of the thing.  We ended up getting one for $50 so it meant we had to rearrange her room.  It did show us what all we still have left to buy for her room (a desk, a tall bookshelf and a step stool).  We plan on painting this week hopefully and having our own garage sale on Saturday.  Hopefully it will cut down on some of the clutter in the basement and help me be able to get to the other parts of down there.  I got a nice surprise today when Fed Ex showed up with my Pampered Chef stuff and I got the awesome new coupon holder inside.  And later today UPS is bring a box from a Scentsy party I closed too. 
Now on to the Scentsy.  I put in Sugar Cookie downstairs and it smells like yummy Heaven.  Warm, sweet blend of butter, sugar and creamy vanilla.  Yum is all I have to say about that.
And upstairs I have Faerie Blossom, at first this morning it was a little strong for my headache but let it do it's thing and I am so glad I did.  It has a very calming smell to it and it's very fruity.  An fantastical scent of lychee fruit and watermint, ethereal sweet lotus, and violets.

Scenterific Tuesday

So I went with two old favorites for this week.  Upstairs I have Go-Go-Goji which is back in the catalog.  An exotic blend of tart Chinese goji berry, sweet lotus flowers, and ripe, warm dewberries.  I'm so glad it came back it's such a nice berry smell.  And downstairs I am warming Green Tea Smoothie that I so hope they bring back with the BBMB (Bring Back My Bar) smells that come out in July.  We should know on the 1st what the BBMB smells are, so be on the look out for a post about that.

We started going through stuff and so far have come up with a box for the garage sale.  We still have a ton left to do but the weather has not been our friend through the whole thing.  We need to take more "staying" boxes to storage so I can get to more stuff to go through.  I also have been working on owls for my Aunt.  They are all cut out now I just have to glue them all together then mail them off.  Then I need to start working on the cuts for Megan and Janelle and I have owls to make for a friend because after seeing the ones for Teresa she wanted some for her daughter's room.

We got the closet doors down in Kyrie's room now we just need curtains and a pole to hang them up for a new door.  Seth patched the hole behind the door, he just needs to sand it then we are ready for the first round of painting.  We have a soft white picked out for the base coat before we sponge on the pink and do the trim in the black.  Then it will be time for the fancy stuff and I just can't wait for all the extra's.  We are going to put her furniture on layaway at the end of the month, along with looking for the curtain/closet door stuff.  I also have an idea I got from my friend Alayna for this awesome photo section.  I also need to find some things for Zee's wall and we have to get rid of the couch and her room is ready to go.  Then it will be time to start getting the hallway, kitchen and living room ready for painting.

Let the Cleaning Begin

We got started on our Spring Cleaning today and took some stuff to storage, gathered some stuff up for garage sale and rearranged the living room.  It is so nice and open and it looks like there is tons more space.  We still have a ton to do in the basement but at least we have gotten started and that is always a plus. 

So the warmers were changed yesterday and I put Sandalwood and Cranberries upstairs (it's a BBMB (Bring Back My Bar) scent) and it's so wonderful.  And downstairs I put Wishing Well.  It was way too strong and I had to empty out the warmer and change it before I could sleep because it was so perfumey.  So I put in White Tea and Cactus and it was so calming after the headache I had and then coming down to a ton of perfumey things with Wishing Well did not mix well.

Hopefully the rest of the week we can get more of the basement done and stuff set aside to have a garage sale.  Then we can start with the work to Kyrie's room.  We have a hole to patch, then we are painting white, then sponging pink throughout the room then doing the trim in black.  We also got curtains to put up and are going to take the closet doors down and replace those with curtains.  Then Kyrie's room will be all done except for she needs new furniture.

What's that Scent?

So I figured I would try something new to help me blog more.  I change out the warmers every Monday and thought I would blog about what I think of them on Tuesday.  So here it goes.

Upstairs I am warming Pomatini ~  Pomegranate and grapefruit tonic, effervescent soda bubbles, and fresh berries.

 It's a very floral type smell when you first put it in.  As the scent starts to work it's way down it's a very lovely romantic type of smell.  And such a major contrast to the smell from downstairs Amber Road ~ Open a box of treasure, hand-picked from exotic lands, to discover glowing red cedar and resinous incense.

And for the month of May all Amber Road products are 10% off.  I love this scent.  It's a wonderful manly type smell that is comforting and cozy.

And remember all commission made for this month will be donated to victims of the tornado's in Alabama.  So stop on by my website and check out what is new and Scentsy up your rooms!

Scentsy For A Cause

For the month of May I will be donating all commissions made to benefit the tornado victims in Alabama.  So if you want to do something to help make a difference go check out my website and get yourself some Scentsy and know that not only did you get an amazing product but you also helped people by doing it.

My website

Show your support through Scentsy. 

Random Photo Tuesday

So most of my day has been chill trying to get rid of my killer headache so it's been split between water (FIJI of course) and caffeine  (Dr. Pepper)

My April Fool

So I've begun to realize that conceiving a child on April Fools should prepare you for the child's hilariousness but it never does.  Kyrie is my little April Fool and as I flip through pictures of her for a challenge in a mom's group I am in I realize just how much she really makes me laugh.

The child is a laugh riot!

Day 30 - A picture of someone you miss.

I miss lots of people, I'm in Maine my friends and most of my family aren't here.  What do you expect!  So instead of having nine zillion pictures I just posted one of Sparky!

Day 29 - A picture that can always make you smile.

90 % of the pictures I have of Kyrie always make me smile she is such a ham with her "moves" or poses

Day 28 - A picture of something you're afraid of.

UGH snakes seriously I don't even want to look for a picture of the nasty little thing ugh

Here is a picture Seth took at the Waco Zoo it creeps me out

Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member.

Can you tell we need a new family picture.  I will have to get Seth to do one maybe for Easter

Day 26 - A picture of something that means a lot to you.

FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Especially my Grandparents (all of them, and yes there are a ton of them) They were such big parts of helping me become who I am, I LOVE them so much.

Day 25 - A picture of your favorite day.

The day we took the girls to take pictures in the blue bonnets then out to Dairy Queen for the girls to get ice cream

Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change.

The FREAKING Weather!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  It's supposed to be spring and it was snowing just days ago.  UGH  I'm so over snow it means when it melts it makes mud and mud is NOT good for my shoes

Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book.

So I don't know if I have one favorite book but I do love love love my Nook it keeps my books safe for me and all in one place.

Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at.

Card making...... I wish I was so much better at making cards

Day 21 - A picture of your favorite night .

The night I had Kyrie ranks up there at the top of them. 

Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel.

 

IRELAND

I thought we had been over this one before.  I want to see all of Europe too but this is the big one I want to see.

Day 19 - A picture of you when you were little.

I couldn't decided on one so here two.  I was such a cute little thing

Day 18 - A picture of your biggest insecurity.

My feet under the socks they need a pedicure so so bad

Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently.

So I don't know why it wont turn the right way but the girls make such a big impact on my life on a daily basis.

Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you.

 

 Dr. Seuss inspires me a ton with his creativity and inspire me in so many different ways.  He also helped contribute to my girls love of reading.

Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die.

Oh the list for this is one of my favorite lists.  I want to go Sky diving, see Europe, bungee jump and so on and so on.

Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without.

That's easy it's Seth.  It would be hard imagining life without the girls too of course.  I really love the old man and couldn't imagine not knowing him being there.  He is my best friend.

Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist.

That would have to be Green Day!  I've liked them since I was in 6th or 7th grade.

Day 12 - A picture of something you love.

Of course I love the girls but this is one of the things about him I love the best.  His sense of humor.  I'm trying to give him an kiss and this is the face he makes.  LOVE HUH

Day 11 - A picture of something you hate.

I HATE shoveling snow.   It's the worst thing EVER, I even have an I hate shoveling snow song.  I so can't wait for Seth to get the snow blower so we don't have to shovel snow.

Day 10 - A picture of the person you do the silliest things with.

Of course the girls.  What would silly be without a dose of the minions.  Here they are trying to mail themselves to Megan and Eric before we left Texas.

Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most.

Wow that's an easy answer.  Where I love Seth to death and he has gotten me through a bunch no where near as much as my Mom.  She was the one who came and took charge when I found out about Seth.  I was a ball of crazy to say the least.  She is my phone call whenever I get upset at the idea of how sick my Bubba is, and she was there holding my hand for the birth of both girls. 

Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh.

 

So there's more then one picture but that's because a ton of things make me laugh.  There are the girls and you wouldn't believe how hard it was to pick a picture of each girl (I have tons of pictures that make me laugh when I look at them of the girls) Then there are the cats and My Mom always makes me laugh and of course Seth.  There is tons more I laugh a lot but here are the things that make me laugh the most.