So I've been thinking and thinking and am normally so on track and I think I picked the wrong word. That's not anywhere near normal for me and these last few weeks I could feel that my word wasn't "MY" word. So after much thought I decided I needed a new word one that really needs to happen in my life. The past few years I haven't felt very Happy in much of anything, I HATE (and I don't use that word over or hardly ever so you know it is important) what has become of who I am. I can't find and hold my spark anymore, I can't even figure out why I bother. I have fleeting moments where I am happy and I've grasped and held onto them for as long as I can but I realized have those few and far between moments are not who I am. To me it feels like Maine has sucked the life out of me. I'm a hot weather person and now I spend most of the year freezing cold because it's cold here. I'd give up snow for flip flops any day. I can't seem to find that happy in me anymore and I need it so bad. I can't spend my life in this void anymore. I need to take back my happy at whatever the cost!!!! So I'm changing my word to Happy and finding more of it in my life.
So I've been thinking and thinking and am normally so on track and I think I picked the wrong word. That's not anywhere near normal for me and these last few weeks I could feel that my word wasn't "MY" word. So after much thought I decided I needed a new word one that really needs to happen in my life. The past few years I haven't felt very Happy in much of anything, I HATE (and I don't use that word over or hardly ever so you know it is important) what has become of who I am. I can't find and hold my spark anymore, I can't even figure out why I bother. I have fleeting moments where I am happy and I've grasped and held onto them for as long as I can but I realized have those few and far between moments are not who I am. To me it feels like Maine has sucked the life out of me. I'm a hot weather person and now I spend most of the year freezing cold because it's cold here. I'd give up snow for flip flops any day. I can't seem to find that happy in me anymore and I need it so bad. I can't spend my life in this void anymore. I need to take back my happy at whatever the cost!!!! So I'm changing my word to Happy and finding more of it in my life.
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