Sunday, December 18, 2011

Overwhelmed and Under Crafted

With everything that has been going on lately I have been completely overwhelmed.  We are only doing Dance for Kyrie now and not having so much chaos on Wednesday night which helps a ton.  We are looking at putting Zee back into dance next year where Kyrie is going to make it tons easier, plus we get to pick the day she goes.  We have been dealing with all the caregiver stuff, dealing with the Army (which is never an easy process) and of course the Holidays.  And then Relay has started up which even though it adds one more thing to the list makes my heart feel awesome and light for all the good I know I am doing.  I am looking at making lots of changes next year and am trying to get stuff finished up with the house.  We just have the closets to tackle in the girls rooms and they are done, then we are moving on to the bathroom I think.  Never a dull moment here, that's for sure.  We have had to fix the toilet already and to replace all the pipe stuff for the tub/shower.  Seth really is a Mr. Fix It!  And God Bless D.I. Y. Network and YouTube for helping us through all of this.  I have to rearrange Zee's room to make room for Christmas stuff that I know is coming.  I also got a website on Shutterfly up and going for stuff that is going on with the girls photo wise that way I am not overwhelming this blog with tons of photos.   I am going to try and get us a good schedule going for next year to help out Seth more and to have more time for Crafting so I am not rushing at the last minute to try and get things done (like now).  I also want to do more of what I can to help Kyrie get patches on her own.  We want her to walk away from Scouts having tried and accomplished tons of different things and we know that means us helping as much as we can.  I have thought long and hard about this with all the changes that have happened in the past few months with this and decided I am TEAM KYRIE!!!!!!  Kyrie is the one doing Scouts, we signed her up because SHE wanted to so I am going to do whatever needs to be done to make sure she is having fun and getting patches.  I do not want to be involved in any of the politics of the thing, it caused more undue stress on me then was ever needed.  For those things Seth can handle all of that I have enough on my plate.  I also love that Seth and I are doing a weekly Bible study, it has tremendously helped me with all of the Stress I have been under.  It's funny how little things make such big impacts! 

Now onto the biggy, I have picked my Word of the Year for 2012...........  BRAVE!!!!!!!  
This photo was posted by one of the PTSD/TBI pages I follow for Family Members of people with both or either.  After seeing this I knew Brave had to be my word.  With everything we have been through the past (3 years next month) with all of this I know this is the one I need the most.  It's so hard to remember I am the person holding us all together, I am the ones the girls look to for Strength when Seth falls or they start to notice he is in pain.  It is so hard for a 3 year old to understand and I know just having Strength is not enough they need to see me being Brave not just being strong.  We are going to encounter a lot more hurtles this next year with all of this and I am done sitting out on the sides being afraid of what is going to happen and too afraid to speak up and ask for help.  I know our life is not what we planned for or what we expected but I will not let what happened in our past control what happens in our future.  We have to learn to let go the negativity that people try and push on us because of the sacrifices Seth made, we need to focus more on US!  We have done and given up more in the past 3 years then most people know about and if you can not be grateful for us then we do not need to be burdened with your negativity.