Sunday, April 22, 2012

Yep that about sums it up

Loads of things have been going on lately and I haven't been in a mood for much of anything to include crafts so you know it's been a huge ball of stress for me.  But I've managed to work through it all, hopefully.  I'm taking steps to try and make this place feel like home, I'm not sure it will ever be HOME in my heart but it's where home is so I have to make the best of it.  I've turned in paperwork to be a troop leader for Girl Scouts next year.  I'm going to be the Caregiver/Surviorship Chair for Relay for Life next year.  I'm slowly finding my way to me and towards making me happy.  About a month ago the Doctor found a lump in my breast (it's not cancer but it does need to be removed) and it made me realize how much of Home and the Military way of life I miss.  I grew up only knowing the Army, and I wouldn't change it for the world.  Now not having either of those things I feel lost and at a constant battle to find myself.  Kyrie is now terrified of the hospital she refuses to go into one she is associating what happened with Seth to the hospital.  I am at a loss to try and deal with this.  I feel like I'm failing all around, as a Mom, a wife and a person.  I fight each day just to make it through the day and find myself a little more.  It's funny I never thought I would miss home and My Family as much as I do.  I miss you being able to hug my Mom and it make everything better.  I wish I had that kind of thing here. 

I've been working with Kyrie on patch stuff lately and trying to help her earn all the stuff she needs to finish Daisys.  It's so hard to imagine she will be in Second grade in a few months.  She is more like me then I want to admit some days.  And it worries me beyond belief some times.

Zee will be doing pre-school again next year.  And loves doing two schools this year.  She gets upset when she doesn't have school.  She has made a ton of friends her age (which is a big part of two schools, since at the one she said her friends where the BIG KIDS or high schoolers that taught the class).  I swear there should be a manual about dealing with your strong willed Red Headed Child!  Maybe I should write one. 

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