Thursday, October 24, 2013
My Fight For Me
I had slowly come to hate how I looked. It hit me in February how much this really struck home, and how much I was blaming it on moving to Maine. It took me 6 months to get my thyroid meds back and during that time I had I had no control over my weight no matter how much I fought it. I cried myself to sleep, couldn't understand how Seth and the girls could love me when I couldn't even love myself. Nothing I did mattered I saw myself as ugly and I could care less how much good I did for anyone else I wasn't happy with me. In February I decided enough was enough and started working on dropping some weight. In July after seeing my Mom and brother it really hit home I wasn't working hard enough so after they left I threw myself into loosing weight even harder. I started tracking calories, going on walks, tracking all the activities I did and working more on working out daily. I set my first goal at 165 and I am 8 pounds away from meeting that first goal. I feel better about myself, I am seeing the results from my work. I am even getting Seth doing workouts with me. It is amazing how much one thing has made such a difference in how I see things. I might still have "issues" with being so far from home and my family but I am at least working on me and that is one of the biggest things I was having problems facing. I plan on working hard and staying focused and get down to my final goal and showing the girls how important taking care of your weight is. I am in charge of ME, MY Health, and it is going to help me work on loving me more.