Thursday, October 24, 2013

My Fight For Me

I had slowly come to hate how I looked.  It hit me in February how much this really struck home, and how much I was blaming it on moving to Maine.  It took me 6 months to get my thyroid meds back and during that time I had I had no control over my weight no matter how much I fought it.  I cried myself to sleep, couldn't understand how Seth and the girls could love me when I couldn't even love myself.  Nothing I did mattered I saw myself as ugly and I could care less how much good I did for anyone else I wasn't happy with me.  In February I decided enough was enough and started working on dropping some weight.  In July after seeing my Mom and brother it really hit home I wasn't working hard enough so after they left I threw myself into loosing weight even harder.  I started tracking calories, going on walks, tracking all the activities I did and working more on working out daily. I set my first goal at 165 and I am 8 pounds away from meeting that first goal.  I feel better about myself, I am seeing the results from my work.  I am even getting Seth doing workouts with me.  It is amazing how much one thing has made such a difference in how I see things.  I might still have "issues" with being so far from home and my family but I am at least working on me and that is one of the biggest things I was having problems facing.  I plan on working hard and staying focused and get down to my final goal and showing the girls how important taking care of your weight is.  I am in charge of ME, MY Health, and it is going to help me work on loving me more.

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