Monday, September 1, 2014

Have to get this off my chest

I have come to a place my husband has wanted me to be at for awhile.  I am done, I am not here to please anyone or make anyone happy.  I am here to make ME happy!!!!   I have spent to much of my time trying to walk on egg shells and do things to make other people happy while crushing myself and crying myself to sleep because I kept being stomped on.  NO MORE, you either like me the way I am or you don't.  Either way I don't care.  I am who I am and I am not going to change it.  I am happy with myself.  My girls love me, my husband loves me and that is all the matter.  I have friends and family that no matter what will still love me and  continue to love, appreciate and understand me.  I don't need to be criticized, belittled, mistreated all to make you feel better about yourself.  I have come a long way from the shell of a person I had become and it has taken everything I have to fight my way away from that and I don't need anyone dragging me back down all because I do something they don't like.  So my answer it screw it, You like me or you don't I DON'T CARE!!!!  I could care less if you don't like that my hair has been blue or it will be again, or that I have tattoos.  It is who I am I didn't do it to for you, I do it for ME and will do whatever I want to MY body without your consent.  I AM WHO I AM NO MATTER IF YOU LIKE ME OR NOT!!!!!!

I have been struggling with my worth for a very long time and it's been a rough road.  I am my worst critic and have been beyond harsh on myself.  Having someone make it worse because they don't like something about me has only made it worse.  Every day has been a struggle I fight within myself and try and present a strong face because I don't want my girls to grow up and be broken like I have been.  I am finally trying to crawl out of that and a part of doing it is saying screw what other people think.  I need to be concerned with me and only ME!!!!   My thoughts are the only ones that matter.  I am learning to be happy with me and cannot continue to do so when I let others take up so much of my thoughts for how they see me. 

No comments:

Post a Comment