So I've been thinking and thinking and am normally so on track and I think I picked the wrong word. That's not anywhere near normal for me and these last few weeks I could feel that my word wasn't "MY" word. So after much thought I decided I needed a new word one that really needs to happen in my life. The past few years I haven't felt very Happy in much of anything, I HATE (and I don't use that word over or hardly ever so you know it is important) what has become of who I am. I can't find and hold my spark anymore, I can't even figure out why I bother. I have fleeting moments where I am happy and I've grasped and held onto them for as long as I can but I realized have those few and far between moments are not who I am. To me it feels like Maine has sucked the life out of me. I'm a hot weather person and now I spend most of the year freezing cold because it's cold here. I'd give up snow for flip flops any day. I can't seem to find that happy in me anymore and I need it so bad. I can't spend my life in this void anymore. I need to take back my happy at whatever the cost!!!! So I'm changing my word to Happy and finding more of it in my life.